just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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