Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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