in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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