Can Purell be used as lube?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
