I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I FOUND THE LEGS
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