): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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