Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
