I am in a vortex of obligation.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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