Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
