did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You left your underwear on the fireplace
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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