he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
