For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
