Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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