Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
