The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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