He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
