I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
