hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
