You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
