Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
