I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
