I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just high enough for therapy.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
