think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
