I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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