why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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