Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
