Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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