fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
