YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize