went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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