if you like me you must not know who I am
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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