it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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