I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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