I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
