She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
