my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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