I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
