I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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