there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
