I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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