My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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