thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
