The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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