K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
