It's Friday. Sex?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
