So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
