I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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