Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
