i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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