i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
