i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
