If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
