I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
