I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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