I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You are the jesus of drinking
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
