I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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