i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
