Swine flu. Run for my life!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
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