so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
