It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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