He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
