Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
