I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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