Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
