Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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